


O.W.C.A. Night Out

by s7nnyflowers



Series: Ow in O.W.C.A. [5]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, i promise the rest are very vague side characters that i've developed enough to be oc's, there's only one oc in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s7nnyflowers/pseuds/s7nnyflowers
Summary: Perry and a few other Agents from the O.W.C.A. Take one night a month to bar hop! This month, however, there's some gossip going around. Be sure to read the end notes!!





	O.W.C.A. Night Out

The bell above the door of the Irish pub rang loudly making the four people sitting at the bar turn around. Perry walked in the bar wearing a black jacket and teal polo shirt. Still wearing his black dress pants, he didn't really understand the idea of casual clothes. Why would someone wear something uglier to make themselves feel more comfortable? The four waved Perry down and he rushed over to where they were sitting.

“Leave it to Platts to be ten minutes late.” A large man with a thick Nigerian accent said.

Shrugging nonchalantly, Perry signed, _I prefer fashionably late, Rashaan._

The group laughed at the bar and Perry pulled up a stool. The last Friday of every month Perry and a few other Agents went out together to do some bar hopping. Usually just casually but there were nights where he would have fuzzy memories of his friends dropping him off at home.

Agent Rashaan the Rhino punched his shoulder playfully, and laughed. Rhino was a combat trained 6’7” Nigerian man who was all work no play. He had a lazy eye and under his long sleeved shirt he was riddled in scars from the field. Burgundy band Agent meant Rashaan had higher security clearance than him and a license to kill. When Dennis got out of his cell, Rashaan was the one they sent to get him back unless he was already on a mission. Next to him was Agent Eva the Eagle. She was only slightly taller than Perry and used to bodybuild competitively before she joined O.W.C.A.

Her social skills weren’t the best and many people saw her as an analytical robot who always got her way. To be fair to them though, only one of those statements was false. Eva and her husband had been married for almost eight years now and she had her quadruplets at home. Perry had a hard time keeping up with his two boys and he couldn't imagine dealing with four. Agent E was already looking at early retirement. Still, she was a great intimidation Agent, a better friend, and a black band like himself. Directly to Perry’s left was his best friend, Agent Pinky the Chihuahua. Pinky was a gender fluid individual who preferred male pronouns and suffered from severe Tourette’s Syndrome.

He had a pronounced jawline and cheekbones. His dark, curly hair was held tight against his head in a ponytail with a few stray curls poking up. He was wearing black heels, leggings and a pink v neck that showed off some of his chest hair. He had on his row of seven rubber band bracelets on his left wrist that the Fireside girls had made for him. Pinky Garcia was Isabella’s uncle on Vivian's side and was very close with his big sister. He had tattoo sleeves of roses, skulls, dogs, and words and dates Perry didn’t know the significance of. Next to Pinky was Agent Sergei the Snail.

Sergei had done his fair share of filling in for Perry when he was in the field. Agent Snail was a bald man that always dressed to impress. He had been in charge of training Perry when he first joined O.W.C.A. He was originally part of an American spy group in Russia before he was granted citizenship in the States. Sergei had a thick accent and had a thick skin thanks to how many times he ended up in prison for speaking out against the Russian government’s mistreatment of women. Today, he is a retired O.W.C.A. Agent with the Russian word for feminist tattooed on the back of his neck. The denim jacket he was wearing had a patch for the band Pussy Riot on his shoulder.

Elbowing Rashaan playfully, Perry signed, _Can you order me a white Russian?_

Sergei laughed loudly, “What’s matter, you not want an Americano?” The group of Agents laughed loudly at the bar making the young bartender shake her head. Covering his face Perry pulled his hands down his face and silently groaned. “I kid only, Perry! Have Shaan order whatever you are liking!”

Placing a hand onto Perry’s shoulder tightly, Pinky looked Perry up and down, “L-L-Let me g-guess, the rea-reason you’re s-s-s-so l-l-late is s-s-super import-t-tant and n-not at all expl-plainable?” Perry silently laughed at Pinky’s comment and shrugged him off. His friends, however, were not laughing. All four Agents had leaned in a little closer to Perry interested in what he had to say to defend himself. After making the realization that they were all expecting something from him, Perrry raised his shoulders to his ears and offered his friends an apologetic look. The four agents had equally sour reactions that made Perry grin nervously.

Rashaan put a hand on Perry’s shoulder, “Honestly, Platts, we’re the four people that you _don’t_ have to keep secrets from-” Rashaan cut himself off to wave at the bartender- “a White Russian for my friend, please.” He turned back to Perry and tried to analyze his posture as though it would help him see the problem. Sheepishly, Perry waved at the bartender and she offered him a friendly nod.

Downing the contents of his drink, Sergei exhaled loudly and tipped his glass towards Perry. “What is there that you cannot be telling?” Sergei asked while leaning an elbow on the bar. There was a frown settled on his face that Perry knew well.

Looking around at his friends, they all gave him familiar looks of concern. They had been there for him through almost everything since he had joined the Agency. He cherished nothing more than his relationships. With his family, his friends and his new relationship with Heinz. His family and friends rarely mixed: one was explicitly work and the other home but when they interacted it always went well. But Heinz. That was an entirely different animal and he made it difficult to separate church and state. Perry would love more than anything to let his friends in, but everything was uncertain. The seams of his lives were loose.

Eva tapped the bar twice with her half full glass. Relieved at the attention shifting from him, he turned to look at Eva. She smirked before signing, _Carl let it slip that there’s a new man in Platts' life._

Perry could feel his face flush bright red as his friends turned to him swiftly.

“A new man?” Sergei announced sounding excited.

Eva eyed Perry up and down, _Look at his hair. Said man is the reason he’s so late._

Perry tried to quickly smooth his hair down when Rashaan laughed loudly, “I assumed he had the window down in his car, but you’re right.” Rashaan grabbed the drink from the waitress and gave the shorter man a sly smile, “You realize we’re going to figure it out.”

As his drink was set on the bar Perry could almost feel his soul leave his body. Rashaan was right. He had some nosey friends in the past but not like these four. They were all well trained Agents that knew exactly how to read people and events in the field. If they found out it was his nemesis it could either kill his career or put his friends in more jeopardy than they could afford.

Agent Rhino placed a hand on his chin, he had fought Heinz once before during one of Perry’s absences. If he found out O.W.C.A. might chose him to replace him in the field as Heinz’s nemesis.

Snapping once, Rashaan smiled, “It wouldn’t be a secret if we didn’t know who he was.”

Agent Eagle pointed her finger at Rashaan before signing, _Good catch, Shaan._ Eva the Eagle lived close to Heinz and the Flynn-Fletchers. She could easily be his new nemesis if Perry got relocated. She once gave her nemesis a concussion.

“But why is there being reason for shame?” Sergei asked.

Pinky put a hand on Perry’s shoulder and said, “C-C-C’mon guys-s-s that’s eno-o-ough.”

Immediately thankful for his friend, Perry gave Pinky a relieved smile and signed, _Thank you._

Sergei slammed his fist on the bar, “Pinky knows who it is! Look at him!!”

Spinning on his bar stool, Perry looked Pinky in his ebony eyes. Sergei was right. Agent P could almost read the name Heinz Doofenshmirtz in his eyes. He signed, _How?!_

Pinky stared at the ceiling of the bar, “I-I-I-I-I d-d-don’t?” Mortified, Perry grabbed Pinky’s knee hard enough to hurt him. Pinky looked him in the eye and bumbled nervously, “I-I-It was an ac-c-c-c-cident! I was ou-out with the girls and-and-and-and-” Perry slapped a dark hand over Pinky’s mouth.

Sergei, Rashaan and Eva were trying to scrape together the clues, they whispered things he couldn’t quite hear over Pinky still rambling under his hand. Slowly lifting his hand off of Pinky’s mouth Perry looked the Chicanx man up and down.

 _Okay?_ Pinky nodded pitifully and looked over at their other three friends.

Eva had a hand over her mouth and Pinky turned Perry around. Agent Eagle looked at Perry and signed, _I know who it is too._

Almost hearing a shattering noise in his ears, Perry signed, _Please do not!_

Eagle looked him dead in the eyes and signed, _I thought you hated him!_

Rashaan put his arm in front of Perry keeping him in his seat the way a bar on a roller coaster ride would. “Who is it E?”

Giving Perry a shaken look, she signed, _It’s Agent Panda._ Rashaan moved his arm away from Perry and looked down at him in shock.

Not knowing whether to be relieved that they were wrong or worried that they were closer to the answer than they even knew, Perry stared at the three in startled confusion. He didn't feel it at first but he was well aware that his mouth was ajar.

Rashaan laughed and covered his face with his hand, “It so _is!_ ”

* * *

Hugging onto his prosthetic tightly, Heinz walked around downtown Danville. He didn’t usually go out on the weekends, especially since he could be spending valuable time inventing. Peter told him he needed to take breaks from work and that going out tonight might be a good way to start. Doofenshmirtz, however, was glued to his phone and walking around town alone. A few passers bys recognized him being the mayor’s brother and said hello but other than that we was alone.

Maybe his lab coat made him look like he was on his way to work at the pharmacy? Heinz didn't really know but he did know that not talking to someone was driving him insane. Unlocking his phone, Doofenshmirtz’s thumb hovered over Rodney’s contact name. He could not be that desperate. Heinz put his phone back in his labcoat pocket and sighed in exasperation. Down the street he was on he could see a few local business stores and about three different pubs. Maybe he would stop in one of those.

There was one that had attracted a small group of college kids from Tri-State-State. They couldn’t be younger than their early to mid twenties and had to be nearing their last year at school. Continuing down the street, Heinz was a little intimidated by the college students. The pub doors opened when he was approximately ten feet away. He could see a group of five people. All impressive in their auras they were all built enough to prove their physical strength. One among them caught his eye however, teal hair and shirt that was the outfit he was just wearing not two hours ago.

Shooting a thin arm in the air, he waved him down, “Perry!”

He and the group around him, previously in a conversation, glanced up to see who was calling for Perry. Perry’s embarrassed relief had quickly shifted to mortified. Smile almost falling off of Doofenshmirtz’s face, his rushing over slowed. Perry shook his head as subtly as he could and lifted one hand to mime putting a hat on his head. The world slowed around Heinz briefly. Agent Platypus had tried to teach him how to critically think. A hat had to mean his fedora. Carefully he pictured a brown O.W.C.A. fedora on each of their heads. The realization was enough to force him to stop in his tracks.

Agent Rhino.

Agent Eagle.

Agent Snail.

Agent Chihuahua.

They were all there. Each of them had at least once thwarted Heinz in one of his schemes. He was recognizable and he was blowing Perry’s cover. Clenching his fists weakly, Heinz angled his jog and ran over to the Tri-State-State students.

He laughed weakly and hugged one of the students tightly, “Perry!” Pulling back from the hug, he cringed to see the confused college senior. He was wearing a hoodie though it was the middle of summer and had a septum piercing. All of his long hair was pulled to the side and he was confused.

“Uh, its Danny actually.” He began and Doofenshmirtz looked at him pitifully.

“Danny? Okay, Danny, I sw-swear I’ll explain in like a minute.”

“Why not-” Before the young man could finish his statement, Heinz forced him into a kiss that made his friends ‘ooh’ dramatically.

His secret was dangerously close to being revealed not five minutes before now and Heinz was making out with some kid in his 20 somethings. Doofenshmirtz rested his head on the kid’s shoulder and after a moment he laughed loudly.

“Does my baby know how to make an entrance or **what?** ”

His baby? That was crossing a line. Heinz had to have told that kid to play along with what he was doing but that was too much. Pinky grabbed Perry’s hand to keep him in his place and he clenched his jaw.

Sergei squinted, “Platts, is that not being your nemesis?”

Inhaling sharply through his nose, Pinky gripped Perry’s hand tighter. Rashaan looked at the group of laughing college kids and Heinz. “Wow, I didn’t know that your nemesis was also-you know.”

“He’s not-” Pinky interjected- “h-h-he actually had a-a-a-a w-wife.”

Eva clapped her hands together once to get everyone’s attention. When she had it she stuck out her tongue and signed, _Dr. Doofenshmirtz is old enough to be that boy’s father._ She shook her hands out to animate how disgusted she was.

Closing his light brown eyes, Perry took another loud breath through his nose. Pinky stomped on Perry’s foot, making him jump. Sergei, Eva and Rashaan stared at Perry concerned. Eva lifted her hands to say something when Pinky said, “H-h-hey! H-h-how about w-w-we g-go to the ne-e-ext bar?”

Perry nodded once and pulled Pinky along with him and onto the sidewalk. Almost tripping, Pinky followed closely behind his Australian friend. Fuming down the sidewalk with Pinky, the other three agents however looked at each other and then back at the college kids.

The student Doofenshmirtz had kissed wrapped his hand around Heinz’s skinny waist and walked him away from the pub.

“You don’t think.. Perry and Doofenshmirtz..." Rashaan began before covering his mouth with his hand in disbelief.

"I thought my mind was playing the tricks." Sergei half confirmed in his poor English. 

Looking at the two men next to her, Eagle signed, _Perry cannot know that we know this._

The two men nodded and looked over at where Perry and Pinky had rushed off to.

_**END OF CHAPTER.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this fic!!! I'll probably be doing minor edits through today and tomorrow so if you want to check in for a more finished version tomorrow you might enjoy it more!
> 
> That being said I've elected to move BW&T's premiere date to the 25th because of my own insecurities. Next week! For sure! This fic was based on a super cute and brief idea my beta and I had and was kinda experimental? Just a simple world building oneshot that we decided was cute enough to go into the actual writing process!!


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